Interestingly enough I only write blogs when I am bitter and gloomy. Well, looking on the bright side, at least it"s been more than 4 months since my last blog, which only means that I"ve been doing relatively well the last couple of months. The key word over here being relatively. Lately, I"ve been doing some thinking something quite unusual for me, cos thoughts tend to stay away from my head, you see, it"s uncharted teritory. Or they simply get lonely and decide to leave after wandering for a while =) So, I came to the following conclusion. "IT SUCKS TO BE ME". Don"t get me wrong, maybe in a parallel universe (something that according to Hugh Everett and quantum mechanics is cleary possible, at least theoretically) I am doing pretty well for myself, but not in this one =) =)
I mean, I knew I wasn"t a nice person, but what did I do in my past life to deserve this? I must have hit a bus full of nuns while driving a stolen car on my way to selling drugs to schoolchildren! And maybe running over some cute puppies somewhere inbetween. Just because I am funky and quirky all the time doesn"t mean that I don"t have any problems. People don"t realise that smiling all the time is not as easy as it seems. It takes a lot out of a person. But the worst part is that they really don"t appreciate it. Ok, wanting to be appreciated is asking for too much, but at least they could acknowledge it =) =)
I guess I"ve chosen the wrong strategy. Being nice doesn"t work and it"s certainly doomed to fail, especially, here in Shanghai. Damn my parents for raising me like this =) The worst part is that I am getting too old to change who I am. The funny thing is that if I am still bitter and sarcastic at the age of 25, I will be bitter and sarcastic for the rest of my life. Not that being bitter and sarcastic is that bad, after all, sarcasm is your body"s natural defence against stupid and, believe me, I certainly needed it over here in Shanghai, but still ...